The Selfish Lover

Someone who is selfish when they love an another person will try to retain or keep them in any possible way they can. They do not heed that expression of "when you love something set it free, if it was yours it will come back to you, if not it was not meant to be." They will use methods of guilt, emotional blackmail and other varieties of threats to keep something in their lives that was never theirs to begin with.

Pushing Ones Limits Of The Soul

Why does man push one to their limits of experiencing pain, grief and anger when they know this will be the result of these activities? They will pursue your heart, mind and soul relentlessly in a variety of methods, until they affect your health to the point where a doctor needs to be seen.

These individuals feel no sympathy or empathy nor any concern for the people they hurt constantly. Instead of letting them go entirely, they will find methods of deceit to contact them, speak to them, or keeping themselves in that persons life without that persons approval?

What can be done to stop this form of pain?

I have struggled with the answer to this for a few months now. I have not yet found the answer other then relying on prayer, scriptures and God to cease these activities that are causing turmoil in ones life and upsetting natural balance of soul.

My suggestion is to keep yourselves as busy as possible to help curb the thoughts and transgression being brought upon your person. I throw myself into creative pursuits, reading, prayer and prophecy to help me combat these attacks on my privacy to heal or privacy to move on from unworthy soul contacts.

Will one heal from these individuals?

I am bound to believe one will eventually heal from this unnatural form of mild abuse. It is a form of abuse but not highly recognized or spoken about in wide circles. Find comfort and solace with the Lord in prayer.

May God bless you today to take care of another person enduring these trials or hardships inflicted on a gentle heart, mind and spirit.

The Heart & Spirit Are The Most Fragile In The Body

It never ceases to amaze me how people treat the heart and spirit of others without a thought to their actions of pain they inflict when a variety of emotions are attached to the individuals they are either inflicting the pain on, or the person or people doing it.

I have never understood treating a heart or soul so poorly through any friendship or what I call loving another person. When I say the word love, I simply imply the actual meaning to that word. What does love mean in general? I find when you use the word love in certain circles or relationships, they are not mature enough with growth to fully understand the meaning of the word and panic that it could mean something further then what it really implies at the route of it.

I have always cherished others who have given me love, friendship, attention or even have shown desire. I think that comes with some sort of maturity or growth. I wanted to cherish them for recognizing my person, and have always treated them quite highly.

I value their hearts, and recognize the importance of nuturing their spirits whether feelings were shared or feelings were different. I still valued them.

Prophecy Brings Persecution, Loneliness, and Wide Birth

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The gift of prophecy brings many crosses to bare that is very hard to cope with, and at times accept as part as living with this type of powerful gift. Prophecy brings a great deal of persecution from unbelievers claiming I am mentally ill or some other form of abusiveness that can get quite out of control, I do not even want to discuss what I just endured with one woman for a lengthy period of time. Stooping to lie to persecute. The loneliness from the wide birth occurs because most that are delivered from the insights are fearful of saying the wrong thing to a messenger of GOD.


It is a very painful experience.

How Do I Cope

 I try so hard to focus on the reward at the ending that will be given to me. I also enjoy being his spokeswomen very much, and try to find enlightening things to read, do or spend time pursuing to lighten the sadness of the cross I am to bare. I enjoy working on my blogs and embracing my creativity to keep my mind occupied from the sadness. Due to my RA, I do not leave the house for long extensions of time. I find I get uncomfortable. Day trips still occur but I am uncomfortable half way through them, while still embracing those days with my family.

What can you do to help?

If you are delivered, rest assured I am still a human being who makes many mistakes and still struggles with areas of my life with sin. I ask you to come forward and give me the pleasure of your company with comments and friendship. I have limited contacts online, and a few great friendships in person. This becomes part of the package deal of prophecy. Prophets do not gain much of a social life but a limited few. If you feel you can be one of those limited few, I ask you from my heart and spirit to not let anything hold you back from doing so. My life will feel more complete, and more rewarding with you in my life and conversations.

May God bless both me to help endure this hardship I am carrying, and to bless those reading this blog to hold my hand and heart through this experience.

Bondage Living Vs Living With Freedom

Based on my own experience of being happy and satisfied with my personal or public life; I prefer living with freedom vs bondage.

What is the bondage I am speaking of?

Bondage living is not living life with freedom of being yourself with people you spend time with. This indicates a form of shame. Shame and living your entire life secretly is not happiness or fulfillment.  A certain amount of privacy or discretion is entitled but it should not be your entire life ,especially with major life decisions or experiences like marriage, partnerships, love,friendships,employment or children involved.When I think of living in bondage I think of a form of prison, jail, handcuffed or a ball around the ankles in a metaphorical way. Tied to living without truth.

Living in bondage is not living your life in full truth or some form of deceit is involved within your living.


What does living with freedom imply or mean?

Living with freedom means living your life honestly yet passionately in all areas of your life. I find the more honest, forthright and passionate I am in both my public and personal life, the more I am trusted as a friend, lover or family member. I have even been more trusted with reviews, and business related contacts because they see an honest living soul.

Living with freedom is being at peace, comfortable and not ashamed of who you are or embarrassed with the decisions or thoughts of your heart, mind and spirit and who God chose you to be; and not have to hide it from the people around you.

Containing Love VS Morphing Into Something Extravagant

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Moving from musing to musing, or poem to poem, story to story, I find peoples view of love so different then mine. Containing it in a box and only able to love one way or another, instead of letting it transform into something so much more valuable and memorable.

Christian Erotic Sex, Desires VS Adultery

Most Christians do not discuss their sex lives openly because it is not proper conduct to God. However I feel many are misleading others to believe we do not live erotic sex lives, or ones filled with extreme passion or desire. This would be very inaccurate, and to be quite honest is scaring away possibilities to the Cross of Christ. People believing your erotic lifestyle must cease once you come to Jesus, might not ever want to come to the cross.

God wants us to only share sexual experiences with one partner, one man and one woman; unless you have been called to live like some special people in the bible do with more then one wife. More then one wife is allowed in certain situations which will be discussed on other post.

Desires in the bedroom should not be leading to homosexuality, pain, or humiliation but should be leading both to be left feeling satisfied and not seeking passions with another without crossing over to defy God with adding another partner or causing pain to another in any way, shape or form.

In order to decide what is the most appropriate conduct for a healthy sex life without defying the Lord is to look at the bigger picture. I find when I glance at the larger picture, I have more insight of what God allows as healthy sexuality.

A verse in scripture mentions about masturbation and spilling seed, which many atheists seem to latch on too like a bad cold. In certain situations when a man is travelling, or someone is ill, or not at home, this seems to be the only option left other then ADULTERY. I said man because of spilling seed in this verse. In those cases masturbating is a better alternative then straying from your partner. God does not want your desires so out of control, that you are taking your desires to someone else.

In my home we use a variety of toys, lingerie, costumes and masturbation is most certainly allowed. Masturbation curves desires to stray outside your home to find it in the arms of someone else. Sexual positions are not any different in our Christian home, as they are in any other home of an unbeliever.

I simply shared this information so you would know that someone like myself with very powerful gifts of God as some can see, do lead a very healthy, sexy and erotic lifestyle with the one partner I have at home.

I am hoping this post will help educate either those confused on sexuality in their Christian homes, or if someone is an unbeliever wondering if "Christians are prudes", or what occurs in our homes.

Love Vs Coward

I am getting so tired and drained from a prophetic experience that just keeps going on and on and not any real solution to the experience is occuring?

Why do people choose to be a coward instead of the other choice of love? I am at a loss of trying to figure out the rhymes or reasons people choose one path, when the other path is much more satisfying to be on?

When Not Knowing How to Love

I have learned a very hard lesson these past few months, that I never thought I would ever see or learn. Some people have no idea what loving someone is or means. I am not talking this grand love affair, I am talking the word love in general. To care for another human being in regards to what is best for them, their health, their well being, and placing them before yourself. I took it for granted that everyone knows how to do this?

That would not be the case. Some do not understand the meaning of the word love at all? I have just endured an experience that I hope is long over now. Since changing my blog entirely, to being very cautious of who comes on to my social media again.

My heart is broken, and I am having a hard time healing. I hope this helps by knowing my blog is now away from prying eyes.